my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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