If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Randomize
