thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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