ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
