That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
