remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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