I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I have surprise drugs for everyone
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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