Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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