I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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