ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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