I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
