i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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