Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
