We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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