Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
