every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
