Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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