He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
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