Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
