Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
