If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I'm too high and old for this...
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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