you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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