4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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