And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Can you bring me the toilet please
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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