also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
