her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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