what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
