the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
