3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
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I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
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If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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