apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize