But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
