its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize