I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize