can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
