i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
