I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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