So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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