only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
