I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
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I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
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We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
This toilet bowl is my home.
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