Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize