He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
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It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
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I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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