I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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