glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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