I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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