a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize