I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
The beer is more important than you right now.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
Randomize