are you still at the devil's house?
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
