I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Be still, my beating vagina.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Randomize