is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
