how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
