Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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