what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
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It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
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Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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