what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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