I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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