I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
just tell him i said nine months
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
