Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
