Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Idk if I want to put a bra on
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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